Autism and Thanksgiving

How to cope. From Autism Speaks:

 When Turkey Day arrives, here are some general tips for enjoying a holiday meal with a child or adult who has autism:

* Dress comfortably. This probably isn’t the best time for your son to wear something new or different – especially if this has been an issue in the past. (Pick your battles.)

* Talk with your family about keeping conversation, music and TV volume at an appropriate volume. This may be difficult if your family is anything like mine. Another option is to have your son use noise-reducing headphones – either alone or with some music he enjoys. Wearing headphones may not be appropriate for the entire day. But it can be very useful when you sense that your son is becoming overstimulated.

* Create a quiet room where your child can retreat and relax while waiting for the big meal. This is a great place to keep a bag of your son’s favorite toys, books and other independent activities.

* Most importantly, remember to catch your child being “good” – that is, playing, socializing or eating in an appropriate and healthy manner. Be sure to provide plenty of positive feedback. You know what your son likes – be it praise, a hug or a small reward such as a sticker or favorite toy. I understand that it can be hard to remember to reward a well-behaving child while you’re juggling the demands of preparing a holiday meal. Consider having a kitchen timer in your pocket or set your cell phone alarm as a reminder to touch base with your child and provide that positive feedback before disruptive behavior occurs.

* Consider minimizing table décor, including scented candles. Remember, the day will be filled with the savory and sweet aromas from all the delicious food you’re preparing. It can help to reduce other sensory input at the table.

* If you’re worried that your child will gorge on snacks and appetizers prior to the meal, consider moving these treats out of sight or under cover. You may need to enlist the help of understanding family members. For example, consider placing the appetizers in one place in bowls and platters that have covers. Ask family members to take turns monitoring the “snack zone” and assist children with appropriate portions.

* Once at the table, you can help an over-excited eater slow down by placing small portions of food on his plate. You can always serve seconds.

* If your son has difficulty controlling his impulse to grab food, consider sitting him immediately next to you or someone else who can provide support and reinforce appropriate table manners.

* Another option – if the family is willing – is to plate food in the kitchen rather than pile the table with serving platters. This avoids grabbing and encourages more of a pause between servings. (Read more.)